chunky2sexy

I just turned 30 and I don’t recognize myself, physically or mentally. I have been unhappy for awhile and I have coped with eating, alot. I was a fat kid, I grew up in a sad and abusive home and I turned to food to deal with it. Once I hit my teens I lost all the weight and gained attention from men and with that came many more years of bad relationships and problems. I started gaining weight a couple of years ago and the more weight I gained the more guys left me alone and I liked it, so I kept gaining more and comforting myself with food and TV. I have gotten into a rut, I feel horrible about myself and cannot stand to even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I have no friends, I don’t like to leave the house, I have a hard time looking people in the eye and I’m terribly lonely. I just feel like a swollen version of myself, like a big marshmallow. So I have decided to change my life starting today, I vow to myself…..

I vow to take care of myself.

I vow to be kind to myself.

I vow to get out and meet new people.

I vow to deal with my emotions in a healthy manner.

I vow to look people in the eye.

I vow to love myself.

I vow to be the best I can be.

I know the weight is a symptom of bigger issues, this journey for me will not only be physical but emotional and spiritual too. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. I need this.